For the next 10 days I’ll be living in Los Osos while the in-laws are away, keeping Scruffy company and taking care of the few simple household duties like watering the flowers and picking up the mail. It’s always fun to have a change of pace, a new scenery, even if it’s only a 10 minute drive from home. On the contrary I was a little worried about how this slight change would affect my new “regimented lifestyle”.
Okay, it’s only day three but I swear I have something really good going. It works for me, having the Irish Hills to run in, the comfort of my own home to work in, and downtown just minutes away if I need to hop on my bike and ride somewhere for new inspiration.
I tend to be an all-in or all-out kind of girl. I’ve tried (there’s that word again) to make this work before, and when thrown off kilter was unable to work through the change.
I was feeling nervous, scared of knocking the groove I was getting into. Good news is, I’m soaring through day one in Osos (day three of my regimen) with flying colors, minus just a few little roadblocks.
I woke up and, first thing, made a homemade cappuccino. I brewed some espresso-like coffee in the Moka Pot, frothed a bit of whole milk in the Aeroccino, plopped the foamy goodness atop the strong coffee, threw in a dash of brown sugar, and delighted in a healthy dose of morning caffeine. This definitely made for a good start of the day.
After sending the Hubby off to work I made a bowl of oatmeal and sat down to edit some long-forgotten camping pictures. I could spend hours editing pictures (I really could). All of a sudden, I felt the feared downward spiral pulling me in as I considered all the things I needed to get done. I had to exercise, take a shower, get ready, write a post, walk Scruffy, talk to my sister, read something – I had to be productive! Is there even time to run today? Maybe I’ll skip it; then I won’t have to shower and get ready before I start writing.
I had made a decision to finally start exercising daily and I was determined to stick to it. I slammed the computer shut, changed into stretchy pants, popped in my headphones, pressed play on my new favorite song (Hooked on a Feeling), and listened to a friend’s advice to take my run down to the bay.
I started on the road and felt a surge of powerful energy within me (definitely not from the endorphins of running – I was an out-of-shape mess as I struggled up the hill). What I was feeling was the authority that is held in the act of making a wise decision; an authority to believe you are capable of more than you thought.
The run was great, the bay view was great, I felt great, and I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow.
I got back home, showered, and again was faced with a conflict. Should I take the time to get ready. I mean, will I even see anyone today? Suddenly I was brought back to lazy days in my pajamas complete with scraggly hair and unbrushed teeth. There was nothing motivating or inspiring about that picture.
Not even 10 minutes later and I was a transformed human. All it took was picking out an outfit, putting some product in my hair, and rubbing a little makeup on my cheeks (maybe some mascara on my lashes too).
I looked myself in the mirror and was reminded of something a wise man told me once: “No matter all the things you know to be true, you will only be able to live by the things you believe to be true.”
Let’s use marriage as an example. Even though I know my husband loves me, that knowledge does me no good if I don’t also believe that he loves me.
Belief is what makes your knowledge also your truth.
I know that as these next weeks go on I will continue to be faced with a question: Do I know I can make it in the blogging world, and even more important, do I believe I can make it in the blogging world?
In some strange way, deciding to go on a run, taking a shower, picking out a cute outfit, and putting makeup on my face showed that I did believe in myself.
The daily routine that I’m pursuing is not a method of proving to myself that I can be consistent, that I can stick with a decision, but so much more than that. This silly regimen I’m living is just a personal desire sprouting from what makes me, well, me. For so long I’ve tiptoed towards it, tried it on for size, and decided it didn’t fit, that I wasn’t cut out for it.
Today felt like a breakthrough. I no longer fear going off course, but instead, am excited to delve into the mystery of all I’m capable of.
My mother-in-law made an interesting comment the other day as I told her about my excitement for this new lifestyle, “Think about it, you could end up being a completely new person as you live out these desires.”
I think she’s totally right, not because I’m straying away from who I’ve always been, but because I’m immersing myself into all, and more, of who I am.
What would your daily life, your aspirations, your silly desires, your goals look like, if you not only knew them to be a part of you, but also believed yourself capable of living them out?
Think about it.